Fourteen
by archard-winchester
Summary: Dean had punched him fourteen times, once for every mistake he had made. Tag for 6x06.


**Disclaimer:** I used to own supernatural, the boys, the Impala and everything else on the show. But then, the men in white gave me my meds and I had to take them.

**Summary**: Dean had punched him fourteen times, once for every mistake he had made. Tag for 6x06.

**A/N**: This might be the shortest thing I've ever written.

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_One_.

He had left his brother. Abandoned him with a Dad who didn't care about his children's safety or well-being. After promising him that he'd always be a part of Dean's life and Dean would be his, he'd cut him off. In the search for his for his dreams and ambitions, he had taken away the only thing Dean had ever wanted.

_Two_.

He had never been there for Dean. He hadn't been able to help him cope with Dad's death, hadn't been able to help him cope with hell. All the times when Dean had been broken and in need of his love and support, Sam had fallen short.

_Three_.

He had lost himself in revenge. For Jess, for Dad, for Dean. Even after he had gotten Dean back, he had still been so obsessed with revenge that he had let it blind him. Blind him o all he had in front of him.

_Four_.

He had failed to save Dean. After promising him for a year that he'd save him, after promising himself for that he would not let Dean sacrifice himself for his sake, Sam had failed to save him or bring him back.

_Five_.

He had lied to Dean. Over and over and over again. His brother had trusted him with his deepest, darkest secrets and all Sam had given him in return were lies.

_Six_.

He hadn't had faith in his brother. Not as a hunter, not as a messiah and not as his brother. Dean was a good hunter and his love for Sam was unconditional. Sam should have realized that he'd never lose that, no matter what he did. Instead he had called his brother weak and pathetic and left him broken.

_Seven_.

He had never apologized to Dean for what he had done. Sure, he had said sorry a hundred times for starting the apocalypse, but he had never apologized for choosing a demon over him, for leaving him beaten and broken in the hotel room.

_Eight_.

He had abandoned his brother over and over again. Whether it was his search for their father and by extension, his revenge, whether it was his search for answers about himself, whether it was sneaking off to Ruby to feed his blood addiction, whether it was his one final quest for revenge or whether it was his subsequent search for redemption, he had always abandoned his brother. He had done it knowing all about Dean's issues of abandonment, knowing well how it would break his brother's fragile ego.

_Nine_.

He had never appreciated his brother. Not on earth and apparently not in heaven. He hadn't appreciated how Dean had struggled to make him happy, done whatever he could to make his life more comfortable and normal like he wanted. He had never appreciated small gestures of love and affection coming from Dean. All the while appreciating the same gestures from others.

_Ten_.

He had exiled Dean from his own life. In a promise extracted from Dean before dying, he had wrested control of Dean's life from him and supplanted it his own judgment, effectively trapping Dean in a miserable existence. Just like their father had done before his death.

_Eleven_.

He had let his brother suffer. He had let his brother grieve and be miserable even though there hadn't been a reason to grieve. He was alive and he had let Dean believe otherwise.

_Twelve_.

He had always chosen others over Dean. He had always taken other people's side against his own brother. Whether it was choosing Jess over him or confiding in Meg what he should have confided in his brother. Whether it was taking Castiel's side while torturing the kid or joining his new family in mocking Dean's normal lifestyle, he had always picked others over Dean. Because he knew that Dean would always be there. Others may leave.

_Thirteen_.

He had lost his empathy. Where he had once felt concern and compassion for the victim's family, now there was only pleasure and catching them in the lie. The pleasure at seeing someone else's family suffer like his family had. Where he should have just felt the satisfaction of job well done, he felt the sadistic pleasure at skewering the monster. He had lost his humanity.

_Fourteen_.

He had let his own brother turn into a vampire. In his desire to be a better hunter, to be stronger, he had sacrificed Dean. He had sacrificed his brother's soul and sacrificed his only chance at happiness. He had sacrificed his brother, _his own brother_. And that's when Sam had realized that he would deserve anything Dean threw at him.

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A/N: Okay, I know that some of these points seem repetitive, forced or unfair. But I had to get the number upto fourteen. You try it, it's more difficult that it looks.


End file.
